Finding Grace

and everything in between

I always like to take a little hiatus from connecting when life is a bit raw, when I’m depleted or when I have nothing to say (although this doesn’t happen very often).

Sometimes a whole tsunami of feelings to navigate means stepping back is the only way through, as this platform and  the work that I do hinges on the useful and valuable. When these criteria are not met I sit on the reserve bench waiting to jump back in. 

I am having a little chat to the Universe  at the moment, because I think I am filled up with learning experiences. But that’s just it right? We  have to embrace whatever comes, choose and take control over what we can, make room for everything else that is jostling for attention and space and not ruminate, project or narrate anything else.

 Far out it’s a big job this living well. 

The reality is that we are born and we die. The bits in between are ours to encompass. Sometimes it’s conditional. Sometimes it’s easeful. Many times it is complicated. We just don’t know. 

The bittersweet nature of life, where joy and sorrow coexist,  invites us to embrace the complexities and mysteries — within ourselves and others — with capacious hearts.

Kate DiCamillo

The ability to coexist in our messy world, where events challenge and often override how we show up is determined by technique. If we have none - no strategies, no coping mechanisms, we are like a rudderless boat at the mercy of the storm. Building a slew of techniques, support networks, and adopting a way of being that makes peace with actuality,  gives us the capacity to be in this world, come what may. 

Hidden underneath the cacophony of sound and external demands lies a space that simply wants to be. Nothing else. And accessing that space in the middle of the pandemonium, with  layers of entangled emotions, empowers, gives agency and choice at times when it narrows.

This is why I do what I do. Because I want those bits in between my birth and death to be full of experiences and adventure, connection and community, joys and sorrows, purpose and meaning. And I can only experience it all if  I remove the gripping on the things that need to be released to make room for everything else. Also, until we make a conscious choice to step away for a moment to remind ourselves the quiet and the connection is always there, we will always  be like a bullfighter in the ring strategising with the unpredictable, scary bull. 

For those of you who connect via the socials, you know that my father passed away last week. I was just about to greet seven gorgeous women who had carved out time for themselves to come on a day retreat with me facilitating when the news came through. To be honest it was probably the best place to be. The retreat space is a cocoon, yes even in the role of teacher,  where we are wrapped up in layers of movement, words, contemplations that nourish us  - soul, belly, mind, heart. We re-emerge at the end of the experience with the strength and capacity to face life head on because we have unraveled from the things that bind us & gathered ourselves, in the company of others. But while in it, it does the same - holding space for us.

It is the best.

If there is one thing I have taken from my father’s life is that we must go out and live. Not regret - that crap is too heavy to hold. Through lack of opportunity, cultural expectations, religious indoctrination my father lived risk averse in a shoulda, coulda, woulda kind of way. It was heartbreaking and torturous to bear witness to.

So I just want to finish with these words from Jack London.

Normal, regular programming will resume next week. 

Because out of the depths of grief,  I am inspired. 

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

Up to a certain point, it is necessary for a man to live his life in the world in which he finds himself, and to make the best of it. But beyond that point, he must create a world of his own.

And the greatest thing about life is that it is always giving us the opportunity to create something new.

It is never too late to start over, to make a fresh beginning, to blaze a new trail.

Life is short, and we have but a brief time in which to explore, to learn, to experience, and to create. Let us make the most of that time, and let us burn brightly, like meteors across the night sky, leaving behind us a trail of light and inspiration for those who come after us.

Thanks for being along for the ride with me.

As always, I do appreciate you being here.

With love

Mon x

This week on instagram