It Could Be Worse
... or not
Perspective is a wonderful thing. Both taking a perspective and having perspective.
Both are a balm to our nervous system.
We are often trigger-happy with our emotive responses - quick to judge, seeking constant soothing and comfort, irritated at the mildest of inconveniences. It’s the world we live in that forces us to be like this.
Until we choose a different lens. Until we choose to upgrade our operating systems.
Taking a moment rather than following reactivity invites options, a broader picture and possible alternatives. Why this is important is because the state of our inner landscape is the lens with which we view the world.
Picking our battles with what we choose to engage with helps us keep our stores of strength and energy for the things that really matter. For instance, how we respond to the everyday scenario of waking up.
Today it was a rainy cold morning.
Immediately we moan. Is it because we feel robbed of a day? I love a warm day, but it too has its detractors - a sunny day is full of expectations … it beckons us to frolic in waves, be out picnicking, bike riding - or so say the marketing departments responsible for soft drink commercials.
Is it worth the energy we attribute to fussing over the weather? Something we cannot control? We do it all the time.
Rainy mornings can be a joy … joy that we can read, write, cook, watch a movie, call a friend. We can even put on a raincoat and walk in the rain. Because I chose a dog breed that needs to run … No Matter What. I have to do just that - rain, hail or shine. Nature is great like that - a dog teaching me to find joy in all moments. ( TBH Sometimes I could do with the joy meter of this dog dialled down … just a little bit at times!)
Nature has seasons for a reason. Baked into the natural world are cycles of planting, growth and death and renewal. We continually distance ourselves from operating within these rhythms forced into a vortex of never ending distractions and doingness.
A rainy day quenches a scorched earth, nourishes our souls weary from the constant hustle and gives us a pause in proceedings. I for one, relish this time, to turn the volume down, to take a breath, to catch up in a world that is relentless in its pursuit of our attention.
Are we hardwired to complain, or has it been ingrained through cultural washing? Probably a bit of both. Our nervous system is built in to keep us safe, and when we send it signals of distress it activates the fight/ flight/ freeze response. Negotiating with our nervous system is an ongoing process, so wouldn’t it serve us to only give it those things that are absolutely necessary to be concerned about?
I know it is easy to fall prey to finding what is wrong with what’s right in front of us, but I also know the value of creating a shift by simply not engaging to see the potential for something more than what we might believe things to be. Changing our view to see what is possible in everything can simply start by welcoming however a day dawns.
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
Wayne Dyer
I am an eternal optimist, which relies on hope and resilience, traits that can be cultivated. Optimism is defined by Simon Sinek in his book The Infinite Game, as the undeniable belief that the future is bright, even if the present is difficult. This is completely different to positivity, where people may feel invalidated, dismissed and shamed if told to ‘look on the bright side’ through super painful and difficult situations.
We can use many ways to reframe - moving from ‘what’s the worse that could happen” to “what’s the best thing that could happen” to “it could be worse” to “ how can I be better within this situation.”
Perspective invites options helping regulate our often maxed out nervous systems.
Thanks for being here as always.
Love
Mon
This week on instagram ( tip toeing back in after a hiatus)
