New Year. Same You
Is that so bad?
Image: Leunig
We can’t run away from ourselves or change who we are … oh yes we try, through our distractions and addictions, but here is a newsflash:
There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you. YOU are not the issue.
It’s the world and how we live in the world. It’s what we do ( behaviour) and how we are within ourselves - (part mindset, part acceptance), that create the conditions for either ease or wrestling with reality.
I think last year I wrestled for the world.
We don’t need to abandon ourselves like a house with boarded up windows.
Instead, opening the windows and doors, and welcoming ourselves home in whatever state - even if it like something the proverbial cat dragged in, means we surrender to what is with more compassion and less fight.
If prizes were to be given I reckon I may have been world champion fighter last year.
Being with ourselves in whatever state accommodates rethinking ourselves into new ways of being with the world.
An eternal feedback loop of being, rethinking and doing. Being, rethinking and doing - yes, it’s worth repeating - which places importance on values as our GPS.
We cultivate an inner alignment complimenting outer nourishment - it’s a great place to begin.
Being essentially who we are is the thing that matters first. Having a sense of value, worth & relevance to and for ourselves gives us a foundation to fine tune the skills we need to step into how we greet & what we bring into the world.
The one thing that will shift the needle in getting us what we want is in the showing up FOR OUR SELF EVERY DAY. Sorry, not sorry about being a bit shouty, but we often neglect to do that.
It’s not about grand gestures. Or traipsing around a far flung destination.
Believe me I have tried that The thing about that is we go away to another place thinking we will be able to leave the bits of ourselves behind….but funny, they follow us there too … then we bring them back home, unless we are intentional about untangling from them purposefully.
Showing up every day for our self, no matter where we are, doing the things that keep us anchored and steady is it.
Simple, incremental tiny steps.
Every day.
That is all.
And boy oh boy, is it a hard ask sometimes.
“It’s implicit in the terminology - the idea of ‘new’ as good, progressive, somehow ennobling, and of ‘old’ as retrograde, no longer fit for purpose. We treat the ‘old’ year as a worn-out, bobbled cardigan to be thrown away. We ignore its comfort, the retreat to be found in its familiar smell and elbow patches, because we’re in such a rush to greet the next version of ourselves, destined for better clothes that will signal our gleaming new persona.
Elizabeth Day
I have really loved going through my photos from the last 12 months.Discarding the duplicates, and the blurred, putting into albums everything else, so I can find things.
(What a revelation that is going to be - a filing system for my photos). No more wasting time trying to find the picture I need…no more saying out loud to myself ’it’s in here somewhere’.
I digress …
Now I don’t mind some parts of my old self. In fact I love her to bits for all that she has dragged me through. She has survived a tonne of stuff…why do I want to get rid of that resilient, sometimes wise woman? We all have that person inside of us. I know this one needs more fun this coming year. Even the bits of past Mon that might not have made the best decisions - those bits all have value and have made the somewhat flawed me me. I know last year was tough for many. Midlife + Menopause + children + illness + aged care + death + world conflict … it all takes its toll.
Looking through last years photos I see plenty of mundane yet delightfully amusing moments that I had forgotten. The value of this reflection lies in simply what brings joy. - because we tend to take the photos of things we want to commit to memory. So rather than discard old memories, they become an invitation for more of what we want and less of what we don’t. A simple enough formula, but one that requires our attention and intention.
Reflection is one of those things that hits differently when we let it — it sharpens our focus and reminds us of what’s really important.
I have spent a few decades - yikes! - in exploration of ways to have a Moore Nourishing Life.
It is worthy noting what steals and embraces our attention and whether it is upgrading or diminishing our world.
Things I know:
If we turn up the dial of curiosity, wonder, awe & joy we are infinitely better prepared to face a challenging world;
Searching for the wisdom in words both written and spoken from others or from our heart helps us to articulate the layers of our self. For me, I write to think twice and to work out the tangles of my heart through my hands trying to find a way through the swamps and into the open fields;
Finding connections with those that hold space for us to work out the wrangling that happens in the journey between our head and heart gives us a place to land and a sense of belonging;
Sitting with all the uncomfortable-ness that leaves emotional debris strewn in all the far reaches of our bodies offers us the practice of choosing to make the unwanted wanted as we navigate the discomforts of life to find the light through the dark. Not because we want to but because we have to. Because that is life.
What if January was not about starting or knowing or beginning again but instead: . a revered space between what is and what if.
January as a new love on the other end of the phone. January as the potential, the daydream, the quickening of the heart. January as the pause, the possibility, the sensation alone.
@thedailyrest
It doesn’t matter if we are heading into a brand new year. Each day gives us opportunity to begin again. Why wait another whole 365 days to do so? The commitment lies not attached to some external source. Yes we must be considered about the environment in which we place ourselves and the people we surround ourselves with, but the commitment begins with the relationship we have with and to ourselves and what is important for us.
There are places and people that choose us, and places we choose.
I ask you to choose you. Not a brand spanking new version of you that your insta feed tells you that you need to be. We don’t need a complete reinvention - how exhausting.
Simply allowing the older, wiser version of you who knows what is important to you to take the helm. One whose GPS will take the backroads, the scenic route, so that your year ahead offers you experiences that bring you love and connection and delight.
And who knows what destinations you will end up at.
The right doors won't open for you until you are the version of yourself that's supposed to walk through them
Sarah Blakely
Come with me and we will find out what’s important to each of us and welcome yourself back home to yourself. I promise you, it’s a trip worth taking.
Looking forward to connecting in with you
Love Mon
This week’s Yoga Email can be found here
