The Winners Circle
Put yourself in there first
Time. How do we use our time?
More importantly, WHO do we choose to spend one of our most valuable resources with?
As I get older, and life has its way with me, I have become quite resolute about this.
I would like you to close your eyes for a moment. Imagine yourself standing in the middle of a field. As you place yourself in the middle of your life - who are the people around you who make you feel held & safe, seen, valued & heard? They don’t have to be the people you see all the time, even speak to regularly. There are people in my life, who I rarely see, or talk to, but who hold a very special place in my heart.
These are your biggest cheerleaders. The ones whose energy, action & words for you are all in alignment. The ones who make you laugh until you cry; Where emotional safety is reciprocated, yet unspoken; The ones who want to see us thrive and do our best; The ones who make you place your hand on your heart when you think of them to hold all the love in.
These people are in your Winning Circle. Keep them close.
Why do we sometimes surround ourselves with people who don’t want to see us win?Why do we try to impress those who undermine and dim our light? I spent years trying to be seen by people who clearly had their eyes closed to me.
I know I didn’t value myself or my place in the world. When we do this, we look in all the wrong places for validation.
Feelings are not facts, but being in tune with how we feel when we are with others & the residue post engaging, will shine the spotlight where it needs to be. This attunement only comes through practice, paying attention & calling out what we are willing to accept, or not, for ourselves. Accepting people where they are at, which modulates their behaviour responses, is a different conversation than allowing ourselves to be compromised. So yes, it all comes back to us. But then we intentionally get to gather those close who offer kindling to furnish the fire in our belly, rather than water to douse our light. Keep those people way up in the stands, far away from our winning circle. Keep them on the periphery of our life.
There are so many confronting, heartbreaking things going on in the world. We have a fundamental need for human connection. The quality of our connection to others can mitigate the effects of stress & depression. Research tells us, this helps us live longer, happier and healthier, We are not supposed to go through life, through hard things by our self. We are supposed to go through them with others - that's what makes it possible to get through them.
Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. They steal your time, energy, mental and physical health. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don't do yourself a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.That's what makes it so special when you meet people who reciprocate love. You will know how precious you are. The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited.
Sir Anthony Hopkins
What does your Winning Circle look like?
I am so damn lucky - mine is deep and wide. It’s Thanksgiving in the States, so to all my friends there, in other far away places & those who live close but I don’t see as much as I wish I could, I love you and I miss you.
Because relationships are a two-way street, maybe ask yourself:
What can I do to be a blessing in someone else’s life?
How can I show up to people and help them feel safe, and sound?
I will finish up with an ode to my Winning Circle, and to you all. Yes you. For spending your precious time on me. I am always deeply honoured and try always to show up and leave you with something to enhance your world.
The older I get, the more I find that you can only live with beings who liberate you and who love you with an affection that is as light to bear as it is as strong to feel…this is how I am your friend. I love your happiness, your freedom, your adventure and I would like to be for you the companion you are sure of always.
Albert Camus
As always, thank you I love you being here, and thank you for your messages - they are the kindling for the days when my fire needs stoking.
Love
Mon x
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