We Are So Hot Right Now
The Perils of Being The New Old Kid
Do you know what I love right now?
While many of us are so hot right now in midlife - take that as you will, I love that midlife, or the ‘half time show’ as I heard it being referred to, is is so hot right now on the world stage.
It is becoming easier to find better, well researched information about women’s hormonal health - it’s about time too.
I am no spring chicken. I have had a life that has encompassed many different experiences and am at one of the major intersections. The world is so noisy with tonnes of information, and lots of great ‘advice’. It is really important to find connection with those who have been or are walking the path with you, and with whom you can trust, resonate, and as Patti smith said, to make these connections ‘transformational not just transactional.’
Moving through any life, particularly the transitional times, we are always seeking answers and support, to be more at ease with whatever is going on. The things that have helped me be adaptable and cope are really practical tools. These make us feel nurtured & build confidence and resilience which are like muscles…every time we use the strategies we build our capacity. If we don’t, those things atrophy. I always use techniques that have some sort of science and research to support their value.
Knowing ourselves, helps us understand ourselves.
Knowing how our self talk shapes our thoughts and behaviours.
Understanding the critical role of the gut-brain axis and the benefits of a balanced gut microbiome helps us make good food choices.
Knowing what we need, we like and what works builds habits for sustainable physical practices for a strong healthy body.
Something that is being skimmed over or totally left out of the current whole midlife narrative is emotional and mental wellbeing.
Knowing how hormones impact our health is super important. Whether or not you choose to take hormones is not the thing that will determine a healthy nervous system. Find a good doctor. Do your own research. Below, there are some links to people doing really good stuff in regards to hormone health .
I have been working in this area for many years. Managing our mental and emotional wellbeing is tough and it determines how we move in the world
But I am going to jump right in here and say:
The commodification of our health and wellbeing generally does my head in and it is particularly so now for us midlifers.
We are in this no man’s land because historically we have been completely ignored and now the world sees a new market for ‘things’.
At a time in our lives where we are vulnerable and seeking relief and support, let me suggest that the things that are going to give us what we need cannot always be bought, cannot be manufactured, do not come in a bottle.
These have to come from within us. It is inherent.
In the past we have been so disempowered & have been sold a narrative that diminishes, and tells us that midlife is a crisis - there has been no reliable research, or sources of information.In fact a lot of the medical research around midlife was done on small, old men. Seriously.
Many women I speak to feel like their body’s are rejecting them, they don’t like themselves, trust themselves or the wisdom they have accumulated and so find ‘things’ to fill the void. We are not going to find what we need in our Shopify baskets…that only holds a thimble of dopamine. But we all get sucked in to what’s shiny & offering hope.
I am all for a bit of retail therapy - actually no I’m not, I am a terrible shopper, but yes a new outfit to make me look good and feel good never goes astray. Unless we do the work - the inner work - and use the other things as they are called - a SUPPLEMENT - we are still just applying a bandaid. It will not be sustainable and only make us feel better for a little bit.
Building strong internal foundations gives us fortitude and a robustness to face the world.
Not an easy ask. And not a quick thing to do. And the real kicker is that we have to keep attending to it.
The bonus is that rewards are great, and expand into all areas of our life.
These are things that no supplement, no creams, no lubricant, no make up, can give us.
We often fall into the assumption that others know us better than we know ourselves. Seeing women abandoning themselves makes me really cranky. We are looking outside of ourselves for answers. Building an intimate relationship with ourselves can be confronting, but knowing our individual needs and wants gives access to a richness in and for life .You are capable, beyond what you believe and what you have been told.
Recently in my instagram feed popped up these 2 lovely young 25 year old girls, telling me that it’s tough in midlife. That to feel better we need to have their protein powder, developed by them to support women like us….but wait there’s more….it comes with a branded shaker….gosh I feel better already. I don’t want to bust anyone’s entrepreneurial bubble, but really?? Managing midlife is not as simple as chugging down a protein shake.
Our wellbeing shouldn’t be for sale to the to the bidder who can provide the best sales pitch to our insecurities.
And taking advice from a 25 year old - maybe to keep my finger on the pulse of the best new music, but not for my hormonal health.
Find your community. Engage with people who know...who truly understand & provide real support - we don’t go to an orthopaedic surgeon if we have an eye issue.
We are standing on a precipice and we owe it to ourselves to be discerning who we listen to, take our advice from.
I am not saying I am it for you….there are so many people doing so many great things out there to support and engage and educate. Find the people you resonate with. I can say hand on heart, I have been around for awhile & I am in this with you. It is really important for me to help myself, and hopefully some of you benefit from my work.
Until we come back home to ourselves, and do the real work, we won’t feel better, we won’t lose the weight, find purpose in moving forward into the next chapter of our life.
You are your own life line, you have your own life vest inside of you life - you just need to do the work, so when push comes to shove and you need to pull the cord, you know you will float.
Take it easy. We don’t have to have everything all sorted out today. I always try and do one thing a day that is going to upgrade my physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. I have had a tough few years and these practices along with my finds and family are the things that keep me steady.
NO matter what age or stage I am.
Thats it for this week
See you next time.